trepidation

Trepidation

This is what I have. Is that the right word? Maybe it is anxiety.

I head to the States tomorrow and though this is not my first flight – I have been flying at least since I was 1 ½ -  I feel anxious every time I fly. I remember the many stories I’ve heard about airline crashes. Like the one in France a number of years ago where the back end of the plane exploded not a minute after the plane took off. Or the one that disappeared in the Indian ocean last year. Or the one where the two planes ran into each other on the run way (something about the wings). Or any number of stories I’ve heard. I know, this is not the thing to think about before one flies, but if you tell me not to think about a pink elephant, I’m gonna think about a pink elephant.

So every time I fly, even though I have flown many times, I still listen to the flight attendant giving the information about where the exits are, what kind of flotation device we have – is it the seat cushion itself or under the seat? When the plane taxis down a runway and takes off I pray the same way I pray when I’m driving (a car) – constantly. “Lord please keep us safe.” “Keep the captain and co-captain alert.” “May the mechanics have done their job correctly.” “I hope the baggage handlers didn’t leave anything behind.” When we’ve been up in the air for more than a minute I breathe a sigh of relief that we are not like the Air France flight. All during the flight I keep my seatbelt buckled and hope that my oxygen mask works. My obsessed-with-stuff mind worries about the items that are going to get lost and ruined if we crash or have to land in the ocean. It’s when I am off the plane and have my bag in hand that my biggest relief comes… and unless I’m in the Dakar airport, that is also the moment when I see loved ones again.

Today I am also filled with trepidation about my layover. 19 hours in Dubai. A city and country I’ve never been to. I don’t know anyone there. I don’t know any word in the local language except: shawarma, Alhamdulillah, fataya (?), hummus, algebra, assalam alaikum, insha’Allah shukran. 3 of these words are foods – 2 of which I don’t even like so that doesn’t help. (Side note: Check out this page I found that tells us what words we use in English come from Arabic - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_English_words_of_Arabic_origin_(T-Z) – I did not know tuna was Arabic in origin). I am not particularly worried about the weather – apparently it’s going to be 104 degrees on Monday – that is what I grew up in so I can deal. I am also worried about being tired – 19 hours is a long time. I am also worried about my checked baggage. Is it being checked all the way through? I certainly hope so!

But I am excited about stuff too. I found this bus tour company that offers tours of major cities around the world. The Dubai package is really great – it has a lot of free stuff to check out and you can see much of the city. I am hoping to visit a flamingo lagoon, take the metro, visit one of the manmade island developments, and visit the Burj Khalifa.

Then I hop on a plane for the States. Once again we have the anxiety of taking off and the entire flight. Also, whenever I’m flying into the States, especially New York or DC, I get nervous and start praying for all the people on the plane. I pray that everyone just stays in their seats. I pray that God will keep us safe.

Then I go through the passport stamping line, then head for the baggage area where I will see my parents and possibly my sister. I only have one bag for them to lose, and I am going to the land of plenty. So if I lose my checked bag I can easily buy new stuff. What is irreplaceable is gifts and wedding gifts.

Then there is summer. Summer. Summer. Summer is where I am hoping to get a new prescription for my eyes. Summer is the time my family will be together for the first time in 3 years. Summer is when I am hoping to go kayaking with my dad… don’t know if I’ve told him that yet. Summer is when my brother gets married and we welcome another person to the Bowers clan – can 18 people be a clan? Summer is when I’ll buy new to me clothes. Summer is when I get to see two good friends – and others too, but there are two in particular I am hoping to see. Summer is when I get to talk to people about what I think the Lord wants me to do after I leave DA in a few years.

So yeah. Those are my thoughts about the next 60 hours and few months. Pray for me.

Psalm 56:3  

What time I am afraid, I will put my trust in thee.